Yes, it's 2:45 in the morning as I start to write this. I can't sleep tonight and writing tends to help me. Every time I try to go to sleep tonight my mind starts to run and I start to cry. Some of you know what's going on and now I'm sharing it with the rest of you. Don't know how many of you will actually read this post anyway so I feel comfortable putting it out there. My husband has been without a job since about June. Yes, we had savings but it can go pretty quickly especially when we also had to move. He did start a new job this past Monday but it's not the job he really wants, he isn't that happy about it and it doesn't pay that much. But it's a job for now. I'm not only working as a Crossing Guard (I don't get paid for this job over the summer) and working as an Independent Consultant with Lindt RSVP (which is just now starting to take off) but as of this coming Monday I have a third job with Bible Story Murals. And to top it off I'm looking for a fourth job. The part that is keeping me up at night is the fact that I don't know if we'll have a place to live come October. Not to mention that our electric bill and water bill are due. We've been to our church's mission center but they too are so stretched that they could only pledge $70 towards our electric bill. We're calling the electric company to get an extension but they only will give a 5 day extension. So we have to find the money from somewhere by the end of this next week. What I haven't told you is that we are broke. Dead broke. We have roughly $100 to our name and that is cash. Bank account is empty...not even a penny is in there.
Weird thing is that a couple of nights ago I had a dream that I wish I could make come true. In my dream everyone that I knew on Facebook all gave us $10 because giving a friend $10 really isn't that much. I have over 400 friends and family. You can now see how I wish this dream would come true.
I'm the strong one in the family and am the one that has always held it together no matter what we've gone through. And trust me...we've been through A LOT! But the past few days have been pretty rough on me. I'm crying at the drop of a hat. I'm strung out. I'm a Mom, housekeeper, cook, friend, holding 3 jobs, taking Sam to Scouts, Flag Football Practice, Route 56 at church (program for 5th and 6th graders), and I'm still singing in the choir and playing in the bells for now. I may have to give those last two up to find that fourth job. Not to mention that Sam attends Connections Academy which is an online public school so he attends school at home. It's the best thing for him so I'm working around that schedule as well because I don't want to take that away from him. It's his education after all.
Well it's out there now...for all the world to see. We're dead broke, looking for help and praying for a miracle that we won't have to move yet again...and it may be moving to...well I actually don't know.
It's now after 3:00 in the morning and I'm going to try to go to bed again. Tomorrow is Sunday and we have Sunday School and Church in the morning so I need to try to get at least a little bit of sleep.
2 comments:
Oh, Kim. I only know you in the internet world, but my heart breaks for you. I will be praying for you & your family.
Praying for you!!! I know how hard it can be and how hard doing a direct sales business can be. I could say lots of things or quote Bible verses but I know you've already been told those things a million times. The best I can do is pray.
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