Sunday, May 8, 2016

Happy Mother's Day

Earlier this week I received a message from a former pastor of mine from when I lived in Nashville and he and his wife have been dear friends of mine for many years.  I was asked by Brother John to write down what does adoption me to me as an adoptive mother and what values would I teach others about being a parent for him to use in his sermon today. Below is what I sent to him. 
First off, I’m very honored to be asked. The second thought that they crossed my mind was, “Oh no! What am I going to say?” I took a day or two to ponder these questions as thoughts started flooding in and yet were also fleeting. (I need a record button inside my head to record down my thoughts when I don’t have anywhere else to record them while I’m thinking.)  One of the first things that popped into my head was that I honestly don’t call myself an adoptive parent. I consider and call myself a parent. A very blessed parent. You see someone else not only gave birth to my now 16 year old son but they were so selfless in that they saw a better life for their child with someone else. That has got to be one of the most selfless acts! My son, Samuel, was prayed for before he was ever conceived. He was loved before he was ever a thought in anyone else’s minds.
So what exactly is adoption? Merriam Webster gives the definition of adoption as 1. the act or process of adopting a child. 2. the act or process of beginning to use something new or different. 3. the act of process of giving official acceptance or approval to something. I look at adoption meaning the child meant for you may not be of you, but instantly a part of you. Adoption means that I am automatically a parent and have a license to parent….literally! Adoption means hope.
One phrase as an adoptive parent that we all hear a lot is “you were born in my heart, not in my womb”. I’ve never really liked that phrase even though it is basically true. Then I remembered (and yes, I do still have it packed away somewhere) the sermon that John gave on the day that he baptized Sam. I remembered him saying that we are all adopted by God. That made the aforementioned phrase take on something different to me. No, God did not give birth to me but I was born out of love. God’s love along with my parents love. Whether that parent is biological or adoptive that love is never ending and never wavering. 
As far as what values I would teach others about being a parent….that honestly is a loaded question for me. I would say that first and foremost you need to be patient.  Remember that they are children (yes, even the teenagers) and that they will make mistakes. You also need to remember that you made mistakes as well.  Bottom line is that I’m a parent to an awesome son! No, he’s not perfect. Yes, he’s made some mistakes. What child hasn’t. Yes he has a lot more to learn. Don’t we all.  Adoption really all does boil down to one thing….. I’m blessed to be his Mom.
Here are some photos that I've shared with you all throughout the years of the wonderful boy that made me a mom.


Happy Mother's Day!

Monday, April 4, 2016

Bible Journaling

I've recently started Bible Journaling.  I can hear all of your questions going through your heads.  What is Bible Journaling? Do I need a special Bible? Do I need to be artistic? Do I need special supplies? What will Bible Journaling do for me and why should I do it? 

Bible Journaling was first introduced to me by the therapist I was seeing.  She knew my love of art and crafting and also knew that I am a Christian.  She too had been Bible Journaling and thought that it would be a good way for me to work through some of my feelings through Bible verses and using it as therapy.  WOW!  Did it ever work. 

Bible Journaling and what is it and can anyone do it even if I'm not artistic?  Bible Journaling is a great way to connect with scripture by drawing or even scribbling a stick figure.  Artistic ability is not a requirement.  Wanting to connect more to scripture really is the only requirement.  The benefits are numerous and can vary from person to person.  For me it all started with wanting to learn more about myself and heal wounds.  Now it's a desire to learn, connect and to create.

Do you need a special Bible?  No.  You do not need a special Bible.  You can either use a Bible that you have that you don't mind drawing in or you can purchase a special Journaling Bible.  I did purchase a Journaling Bible.  Mine is like this one.

Or if you feel like you are not artistic but still want a way to create inside a Journaling Bible I highly recommend this one. It has "over 400 beautiful line-art illustrations spread throughout the Bible. Full-page and partial-page Scripture art is attractively displayed throughout the Bible, and the illustrations can be colored in to make each Bible unique, colorful, and customizable."  And there are still many pages where you can add your own illustrations.

Do you need special supplies?  Not really.  You can use every day crayons, colored pencils or pens.  I do, however, recommend that you make sure that any pens or markers that you use don't bleed through.  Remember that Bible pages are thin.  I mostly use watercolor pencils, colored pencils, gelatos, watercolors and archival pens.

This weekend I finished a verse that was a favorite of my niece, Christina.  As a reminder, Christina is my sisters daughter that tragically passed away last August.  This verse was used in her Celebration of Life service and I wanted to do it justice and make it personal. The verse is Hebrews 12:1.  So I printed a picture of Christina on some vellum and added it to the adjacent page with some washi tape. On her picture I put a quote that I had found on one of her pictures on Instagram.  I really like how it turned out.  Here are some pictures of it.  Remember that you can click on the pictures to enlarge.

We are studying Isaiah in Sunday School and I am working on quite a few verses within this book.  Today I did Isaiah 9:6. 

This one and the one in Hebrews were not my original ideas.  I found them on Pinterest and I welcome you to follow me.  I did the on from Hebrews freehand.  The on in Isaiah I traced and freehand.  One thing I love about the Bible Journaling community is that it's okay to use someone else's idea and make it your own.  I do have some that I've done already that are completely my own ideas.  I highly recommend to anyone to pick up Bible Journaling. 

Do you have any questions that I haven't answered?  Ask away and I'll do my best to answer them for you.

Saturday, March 26, 2016


In a previous post I said that one of the reasons I changed the name of my blog was to be more real in my posts.  You see in my past I would have written something like this:

This has been a great weekend!  Good Friday service last night was wonderful.  The scriptures and music were powerful and moving.  Today we had a very productive rehearsal for our Easter service tomorrow morning.  Sam is off skating and I'm enjoying a quiet afternoon at home.

Okay, this was an abbreviated version of what I would have written.  I probably would have added more details and a picture or two.

Now for the real version:

This has been a weekend of emotions.  Every little thing makes me want to cry.  I stayed in bed this morning until I absolutely had to get up.  I went to rehearsal this morning for tomorrows Easter service (which really was a good time).  I've been swallowing tears all day long.  I've put on a smile and have made it through the day without anyone really knowing that I was feeling down.  I'm missing my family something fierce!  If I could I would have taken off and taken Sam and I back up to Springfield this weekend.  We both need to see family but that just isn't possible right now.  You see not only did my husband leave me and Sam after Thanksgiving last year but my family also had another loss.  My sister lost her oldest daughter in a tragic auto accident last August.  It's made it even harder with it being Easter weekend.  It's hard hearing everyone talking yesterday after Good Friday service and today before, during and after our rehearsal about all of their family plans for after church tomorrow.  I'll be hurts.  It hurts a lot.  Yes, I have Sam. Yes, we'll go to church tomorrow morning. And trust me both of those have gotten me through so much.  My son and my faith are bringing me through these dark times.  But let's be honest.  We're human.  It hurts that we won't have the family meal after Easter services tomorrow whether it be with our family or with close friends. We won't have the conversations or will we be making those holiday memories with our family and/or friends.  It's strange, years past when we haven't been able to go see our family it never really bothered me.  But this year it's tearing me up. 

I had been seeing a wonderful therapist but funds have run out.  Hoping that I can save enough so that I can start seeing her again.  But until then I am constantly going back over every conversation that we had.  While with her she made me realize how much doing art is a great therapeutic release.  I've gotten into Bible Journaling and have started painting with watercolors.  I think that I'll be spending the evening doing one or both of these as they really do help me.  Here are just a few of the ones that I've done recently. (remember that you can click on the pictures to see them bigger)

So there it real life right now.  Life is not all roses but I know that life will get better.  One day at a time.  I have an absolutely wonderful family and friends that have been here for me and will continue to be here whenever I need them.  I have to say that after writing all of this down I do feel a bit better.  Guess I found another therapeutic release. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

New Buttons!

It may not mean much to most of you but this evening I finally figured out how to add social media buttons to my blog.  Did a lot of research and came across a lot of information.  Some good and some, well let's just say I wish I hadn't spent my time learning what they had said there.  Here is what I came up with:
So now you can follow me!  These will be over there to the right all the time now.  I did this with the help of this YouTube video. Wish I had watched this one first.  At least I can share it with all of you here in case you want to do your own.


Monday, March 21, 2016

I'm Back!!!

Hello there!  I've had a long break from blogging and honestly it's something that I've missed every day.  If my brain could have published every post that I wrote in my head my blog would be overflowing.  I'm sure that other bloggers out there can understand where I'm coming from.  I hope to be able to post quite often from now on. In fact, now that "there's an app for that", I'll be able to also post on the go or at least start the composing of a post before I forget what I was going to write. 

For all of my past readers you might have noticed some changes here.  The most obvious change is the name of my blog.  I decided that I wanted to write about my life no matter what is going on.  I want to keep it real.  Not that it wasn't real before but I must admit that most of my posts were about the good times in my life.  Now, it will be everything.  I had also thought about just starting a new blog all together and getting rid of this one.  But I couldn't bring myself to delete everything here.  I do want to come up with a better look for my blog but for now I'm keeping it simple until I find something that I like.

Life for me has changed quite a bit recently and I will write about it at some point in time.  But for now I will tell you that I am currently separated from my husband.  This happened the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Sam, my son, and I are doing ok.  We both have our ups and downs as far as dealing with all of our emotions surrounding this change in our life.  But I must say that we are both very strong and will come out of this stronger than ever before.

I am currently looking for a new place to live as I can't afford to keep living where we are currently living.  I'm also searching for a full time job as my previous full time job was taken from full time to part time last October.  I'd love to find one that I can work from home but I know that may not happen.  So, if you know of one please let me know! 

Now on a completely different little boy has grown up!  A couple weeks ago Sam turned 16!  Where did the time go?  It's like I blinked my eyes and now I have a man.  Cherish the time with your kids people.  It goes way to fast.

You can click on the picture to enlarge 


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