Saturday, March 26, 2016


In a previous post I said that one of the reasons I changed the name of my blog was to be more real in my posts.  You see in my past I would have written something like this:

This has been a great weekend!  Good Friday service last night was wonderful.  The scriptures and music were powerful and moving.  Today we had a very productive rehearsal for our Easter service tomorrow morning.  Sam is off skating and I'm enjoying a quiet afternoon at home.

Okay, this was an abbreviated version of what I would have written.  I probably would have added more details and a picture or two.

Now for the real version:

This has been a weekend of emotions.  Every little thing makes me want to cry.  I stayed in bed this morning until I absolutely had to get up.  I went to rehearsal this morning for tomorrows Easter service (which really was a good time).  I've been swallowing tears all day long.  I've put on a smile and have made it through the day without anyone really knowing that I was feeling down.  I'm missing my family something fierce!  If I could I would have taken off and taken Sam and I back up to Springfield this weekend.  We both need to see family but that just isn't possible right now.  You see not only did my husband leave me and Sam after Thanksgiving last year but my family also had another loss.  My sister lost her oldest daughter in a tragic auto accident last August.  It's made it even harder with it being Easter weekend.  It's hard hearing everyone talking yesterday after Good Friday service and today before, during and after our rehearsal about all of their family plans for after church tomorrow.  I'll be hurts.  It hurts a lot.  Yes, I have Sam. Yes, we'll go to church tomorrow morning. And trust me both of those have gotten me through so much.  My son and my faith are bringing me through these dark times.  But let's be honest.  We're human.  It hurts that we won't have the family meal after Easter services tomorrow whether it be with our family or with close friends. We won't have the conversations or will we be making those holiday memories with our family and/or friends.  It's strange, years past when we haven't been able to go see our family it never really bothered me.  But this year it's tearing me up. 

I had been seeing a wonderful therapist but funds have run out.  Hoping that I can save enough so that I can start seeing her again.  But until then I am constantly going back over every conversation that we had.  While with her she made me realize how much doing art is a great therapeutic release.  I've gotten into Bible Journaling and have started painting with watercolors.  I think that I'll be spending the evening doing one or both of these as they really do help me.  Here are just a few of the ones that I've done recently. (remember that you can click on the pictures to see them bigger)

So there it real life right now.  Life is not all roses but I know that life will get better.  One day at a time.  I have an absolutely wonderful family and friends that have been here for me and will continue to be here whenever I need them.  I have to say that after writing all of this down I do feel a bit better.  Guess I found another therapeutic release. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

New Buttons!

It may not mean much to most of you but this evening I finally figured out how to add social media buttons to my blog.  Did a lot of research and came across a lot of information.  Some good and some, well let's just say I wish I hadn't spent my time learning what they had said there.  Here is what I came up with:
So now you can follow me!  These will be over there to the right all the time now.  I did this with the help of this YouTube video. Wish I had watched this one first.  At least I can share it with all of you here in case you want to do your own.


Monday, March 21, 2016

I'm Back!!!

Hello there!  I've had a long break from blogging and honestly it's something that I've missed every day.  If my brain could have published every post that I wrote in my head my blog would be overflowing.  I'm sure that other bloggers out there can understand where I'm coming from.  I hope to be able to post quite often from now on. In fact, now that "there's an app for that", I'll be able to also post on the go or at least start the composing of a post before I forget what I was going to write. 

For all of my past readers you might have noticed some changes here.  The most obvious change is the name of my blog.  I decided that I wanted to write about my life no matter what is going on.  I want to keep it real.  Not that it wasn't real before but I must admit that most of my posts were about the good times in my life.  Now, it will be everything.  I had also thought about just starting a new blog all together and getting rid of this one.  But I couldn't bring myself to delete everything here.  I do want to come up with a better look for my blog but for now I'm keeping it simple until I find something that I like.

Life for me has changed quite a bit recently and I will write about it at some point in time.  But for now I will tell you that I am currently separated from my husband.  This happened the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Sam, my son, and I are doing ok.  We both have our ups and downs as far as dealing with all of our emotions surrounding this change in our life.  But I must say that we are both very strong and will come out of this stronger than ever before.

I am currently looking for a new place to live as I can't afford to keep living where we are currently living.  I'm also searching for a full time job as my previous full time job was taken from full time to part time last October.  I'd love to find one that I can work from home but I know that may not happen.  So, if you know of one please let me know! 

Now on a completely different little boy has grown up!  A couple weeks ago Sam turned 16!  Where did the time go?  It's like I blinked my eyes and now I have a man.  Cherish the time with your kids people.  It goes way to fast.

You can click on the picture to enlarge 


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