Being Real

I've been struggling lately with some depression.  There.  I said it.  I haven't been officially diagnosed but I know.  I feel it.  Yes.  If you see me more than likely you'll see the happy go lucky girl that you've always seen in me.  Yes.  I can be happy and generally I am.  But I am struggling.  I wake up and I don't even want to get out of bed.  But I Do.  I get home and although I have things to do I'm counting down the time that I can crawl right back into my bed.  But I Get Those Things Done.  Well, most of them. 

One of my favorite shows is This Is Us.  And it relates to me in ways no other show can.  I'm a few shows behind and am catching up as I write this.  On one of the episodes the mom was talking to her brand new grand-daughter in the hospital and telling her that there is the beginning, the end and the middle.  And that sometimes the middle is one of the hardest places.  That's where I'm at right now.  The middle.  And the hardest deepest part of it.  Or so it seems right now. 

Just watched the part on This Is Us where they were in front of the judge and officially adopted Randall. So many memories just came flooding back! It reminded me of when I adopted my beautiful baby boy.  Sam. 

Oh Boy!  This little boy right here is what I'm fighting for!  He is my everything and my whole world.  MY PURPOSE!  He was and is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  The above picture was taken the day that I met Sam.  Don't know where that little baby boy has gone as he's almost an adult now.  And yet I seem to be struggling more with this age than when he was little.

If you know me though, you will know that I am determined to get through this!  I am a strong person even though every day right now I don't feel like it.  And every day right now is rough.  I can't wait for the day when you will read on here how I am crushing it.  But until then....this is my real life.

Okay...I've rambled quite a bit now.  Going to turn the table on you now.  Be honest.  Really honest with yourself.  What do you struggle with?  You may think it's trivial but you know what it may not be to someone else.  Share it!!  You may be helping someone else by sharing your struggles.

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