BOOK REVIEW: It's Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along by Ellie Slott Fisher
THERE’S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT—YOU’RE NOT LOSING A SON AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GAINING A RIVAL.
For a mother who’s accustomed to having been number one in her son’s life, the arrival of a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife can be a complicated, confusing, and emotionally challenging event. Likewise, coexisting harmoniously with the mother of her partner can be an overwhelming challenge for any woman. Sons, often caught in the middle, are sometimes understandably reluctant to take sides.
In It’s Either Her or Me, relationship expert Ellie Slott Fisher examines the complex dynamics of these potentially fraught relationships and how they can be made rich in rewards for all parties. As a wife and the mother of a grown son, Fisher has been on both ends of the spectrum. She recounts her own experiences and those of the mothers, sons, girlfriends, fiancées, wives, and even sisters she interviewed. With the help of psychologist Dr. Beatrice Lazaroff and licensed professional counselor Esther Ganz, Fisher offers practical solutions to help women on both sides cope—and thrive—in this most sensitive of relationships. Discover how to
• gauge when it’s time to voice an opinion—and when it’s best to bite your tongue
• reach out to the woman in your son’s life without being overbearing
• handle the partner or mother-in-law who’s truly impossible
• show respect to your partner’s mother
• ensure that your partner’s mother respects your boundaries
• deal with jealous sisters and other difficult family members
• and much more
Also including welcome advice on what he can discuss with either woman, It’s Either Her or Me is an invaluable resource for women and the men they love.
About the Author:
Recognized by the national media as a relationship expert, Ellie is the author of Mom, There’s a Man in the Kitchen and He’s Wearing Your Robe (Da Capo Press 2005), Dating for Dads (Bantam Dell 2008) and the soon-to-be released It’s Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along (Bantam 2010). She also contributed to the anthology, Single Woman of a Certain Age.
A print journalist with more than 25 years of experience, Ellie has been featured in CHILD, Working Mother, Parents, Essence, Complete Woman, and numerous regional magazines. A former reporter and editor for United Press International, and landscape designer, she has also edited a magazine for professional landscape designers. It was during that time, Ellie’s husband of 15 years suddenly died. In her late thirties with two small children at home, she unexpectedly found herself doing something she had long ago given up: dating.
This book was very informative and helpful and it would benefit anyone who is or is going to be an "in-law". I know that with having a son I am going to refer back to this book constantly as he grows up. I'll refer to it while starts dating, starts to seriously date and then once he gets married. I know that he's only 10 now but it will be great! I would recommend it to anyone!
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