Sunday, December 31, 2017

Reflections & Ruminations on New Year's Eve 2017

As I sit here watching CBS Sunday Morning and watching all the stories that happened this past year and seeing those that have gone on before us I'm doing a lot of thinking and reflecting of my own year.  It's a rambling thought process but I thought that I would share it with you.

This year has flown by and yet it has taken forever. 



I turned 50 this year. 


My divorce was finalized after he walked out on Sam and I two years ago.  Has it really been two years?  Sam and I have been through so much in these two years but I think that we are finally finding our "groove" so to speak.  On the flip side,  I'm finding myself trying to reinvent my life.  Wait....myself.  I wonder who I am anymore.  I'm 50 and wonder what I'm going to do with the rest of my life as I try to support my family, by myself.  And speaking of family, the week of Thanksgiving Sam texted me saying that one of his friends from school had been kicked out of his house and needed a place to stay.  Well me and my big heart couldn't say no.  I now have 2 teenage boys in my house now.  Yes, there have been some major adjustments and lots of "talks" as to how we should act.  And the talks haven't been with Sam but our new family member.  There have been times (many times) I've wondered if I did the right thing.  But that is in the past and that's where it needs to stay.  Gee, as I write that last sentence I realize that that is how I need to consider my life.  What is in the past is just that....the past.  No matter what I can't change that and must put my best foot forward.  I can still look at the past.  I can learn from the past.  I can enjoy the past.  But it's just that...past.  

As I struggle to support my family I have found myself this past week with a notion tickling the back of my brain.  Go back to school.  WHAT?!?!?  Am I hearing myself correctly?  School?  Learn something new?  Yup.  It's been nagging at me all week.  I've prayed on it and have done a lot of thinking as well.  Soooo, I'm going to see where this "nag" takes me.  Maybe I'll find a new love.  And by that what I really mean is passion.  This is kind of scary!  But I think that it's something that I need to do.  

In doing more reflecting I came across an article talking about how we shouldn't make resolutions but instead we should make an "Anti-Resolution List" instead. They give suggestions as to what to put on it any my favorite one and one that I think I will do my best at is, "Stop rehearsing unhappiness".  WOW!  Just those three little words say so much to me.  I think that I've lived in that unhappiness for quite some time and I need to get out of it.  This past year I've found myself pretty depressed.  I'm working on it and those of you that are depressed know that it is a process to getting better and just these three little words are screaming at me as to how to turn the tide.   If you'd like to read the whole article, which I suggest that you do, then head on over to HERE.  It's a unique perspective on how to look at resolutions.

Another thing that I'd like to focus more on this upcoming year is to do more crafting.  As many of you know I love to craft and even have my own "store" so to speak.  It's called Moonbeams & Mistletoe Boutique.  When I lived in TX I used to do craft shows and I had my best friend working alongside with me.  Since I moved to MO it has been moved onto the back burner.  I'd like to change that a bit.  Maybe not doing the craft shows as of yet but at least start creating some more.  I get so much out of it and for me it is therapeutic.  

And speaking of therapeutic......One thing that I did quite a bit of when he walked out was Bible Journaling.  My therapist that I was seeing at the time suggested that I do it and it really helped.  I haven't done it much since I moved here and I would like to get back into it on at least a weekly basis if not more as long as time permits.  Since we are still in Christmastime here is one that I did in April 2016 when my Sunday School class was studying Isaiah.  This particular one I got off of Pinterest.  That is one thing that I love about the Bible Journaling Community as a whole...it's ok to take someones ideas or finished products to create or recreate as your own.  This community is so amazing and one that I need to dive back into again.




Now that I've rambled on and on....how about you?  What are you reflecting back on and what are you looking forward to in this next year?  Do you do resolutions or do you like the idea of doing an anti-resolution list?


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